Monthly Archives: July 2016

Little man disease, or banty rooster syndrome. Or, why are you so mad little fella?

I don’t want to make you short guys with Little Man Disease mad, but what is your problem little fella?

Some you y’all may be asking, “Elwood, what is Little Man Disease?”. Well, it is sometimes called banty rooster syndrome.  Banty roosters are little bitty, but stay madder than a Mexican feminist at a Donald Trump rally.

Not all short dudes have LMD.  Some are just normal guys that need some help with stuff on the top shelf.

Guys with LMD got a chip on their shoulder. Sometimes they try and make up for it by being mean and onery.

We got a guy here in the Magnolia Blossom Trailer Park named Pee Wee Merrill.  Pee Wee’s real name is Bret.  He wears a lot of Tap Out and Ed Hardy t-shirts about three sized too small. Which is weird, because he is so little I figure he must buy them in the little boy section to get them that tight.  He spikes up his hair with a lot of hair goop and struts around like he is able to wrestle a bear.

Most fellas with LMD are kind of like Pee Wee.  Most are under 5′ 6″, and can be spotted spitting, twitching, swearing, speaking loudly and talking tough. They usually can be seen driving big, jacked-up pick-up trucks. Which is kind of funny because they ain’t getting up there without a step or ladder.

Sometimes, they will threaten a bigger guy.  Usually, the bigger guy just laughs which makes the little feller really mad.

One time Pee Wee got fired because he heard his boss say that they were short-handed at the gym where he worked (little guys can often be found working in gyms) and took it wrong. He got in his bosses face and cussed him out.  He had to go get two steps from the aerobics room to do it, which made him even madder.  That’s not even why he got fired though.  What got him fired was falling off the aerobics steps and landing on his bosses wife.  You can’t just fall on your bosses wife and not expect consequences.

Now, if any of you little fellers read this and get all mad, just send me a video telling me about it. Its just so danged cute!